I was looking back over a few of my old journals for some inspiration on what to write this week having nothing really spectacular discuss. I came upon an entry from a few years back using the term “feral.” I continued reading a few other entries but found myself stuck on that word soooo I of course googled it.
Good ol Wikipedia has this to say when referring to a feral animal: A feral animal (from Latin feral, “a wild beast”) is an animal living in the wild but descended from domesticated individuals. Then it dawned on me, this is me! I’m feral! My family is totally domesticated, totally into the nine to five thing and bathing on a daily basis, then there’s me the almost exact opposite, always wanting to escape into the wild and growl at people!
I hate the domestic life style of what a woman my age is “supposed” to live. I hate smelling like a flower, painting my face with chemicals and grooming myself. I prefer a little bit of my own stink and sporting helmet hair or a buff any day. I actually feel it’s unhealthy to bathe everyday and rather enjoy my own stink! I also enjoy the tickle of my own hairy armpits too. I find pit hair rather comical. Being dirty and sweaty makes me feel closer to Mother Nature. Yes, a shower feels great but a layer of dirt feels better!
As far as the nine to five thing I have found this to be very unnatural. We as humans we not made to work as much as we do. Being in the wilds is our natural place and maybe if we weren’t inside working so much we would be outside living close to to nature and not fucking it up so much. I have always felt a pull to explore the world beyond my four walls and feel most alive with dirt and rocks at my feet and trees and grasses surrounding me. Both Darwin and I are currently working towards a life where we can live with our wild brothern every day.
In high school I always had a weird desire to run a cross the football field nudey. My fantasy has since become a reality (minus the football field). I have been nudey in the wild numerous times and always feel wonderful (never being a fan of clothes to begin with). Looking back I feel this was my true self trying to break free. If Im not out on a trail, sleeping in the woods, watching or studying plants or my wilds brothern around me I feel boxed in, trapped. I feel feral is a good word to describe my inner being and who I long to be fully.
My challenge, embrace your feral side whatever that means to you. Hug a tree, go for a hike, a trail run, a backpacking trip, a ski trip, something. Feed that feral being who lives inside you.
This is me trying to be feral with clothes on.